Hey, Gramps, Get Outta My Street

You know how they put those “Walk/Don’t Walk” signs at intersections? And you know how they count down the seconds until you shouldn’t cross the street, just so you know enough to keep you safe? And you know how they say “Don’t Walk” in red letters just so you won’t miss them and walk in front of a turning car and, say, die? Sure you do.

Then why in the name of all that’s holy don’t you PAY ANY ATTENTION?

The other day I saw a woman step into the street when the sign was flashing “3.” Bad enough that she couldn’t possibly cross the street in under three seconds. Bad enough that I was waiting to make a right turn and couldn’t because she was in the crosswalk. Worse than all that, she wasn’t alone.

She was pushing a stroller!

Never mind that she was risking her own life and that of her child, I almost had a stroke from wanting to jump out of my car and scream at her.

But hey, let’s say it’s your life. You can die if you wanna. No nanny state. Forget all that. Just stop infringing on my rights.

I’m not talking about the right to freedom of speech, which I had to curtail because yelling at some idiot woman would only have startled her in the middle of the street and made me look like a psycho. I’m talking about my right to drive. The reason these signs tell you not to walk is because people are driving on those streets, and you are stopping them. Every time I see a little old person totter off the curb when the light’s already blinking, I think, “Great. Now I’ll have to wait till he gets to the other side before I can go.” Of course I do. You do too.

Because that’s selfish. These people are putting their own safety (and your driving record) up as collateral against not having to wait sixty seconds for the light to change in their favor. Because, hey, their time is more valuable than yours.

Well, guess what? It isn’t. So stay on the damned sidewalk until it’s your turn. If I can’t run red lights, you shouldn’t be able to either.

And don’t even get me started on jaywalkers…


One thought on “Hey, Gramps, Get Outta My Street

  1. I’m of the opinion that people are unfamiliar with the basic laws of physics. A 150-pound cyclist on an 80-pound bike is not going to withstand an impact with a 3500-pound car & driver combo. A pedestrian, comprised only of squishy bits, isn’t likely to survive a demonstration of the law of impenetrability.

    Why do they temp fate?


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